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Much Ado About Sex With Lesbians | Autostraddle

It’s been a large few days for homosexual-related very first individual narratives in liberal-and-feminist-but-mostly-heterosexual journals!

The first part relates to united states via xojane, the ladies’s web site went up by Jane Pratt (my character)

(I’m severe) of




Titled ”
I am a Lesbian Pillow Princess
,” this piece is part of the “it simply happened in my experience” feature which also existed at JANE journal and is made up mostly of writer/reader-submitted records of subjectively interesting private encounters.

The unknown writer of this portion, exactly who I’ll call “Ariel,” is obviously bisexual, but because she easily provides blow jobs to the woman male lovers but doesn’t date or frequently drop on females, she is, she clarifies, officially, just a ”


Pillow Princess.” (She additionally refers to herself as “mostly straight” and “right” at additional things during the narrative.) Her reputation started, she describes, when her very first lesbian hookup — a smokin’ hot dyke named Kelly at her school — took place on her behalf for one hour. She la-la-la-loved it after which straight away fled the scene fearing her own inability to do these types of great cunnilingus upon Kelly for such a prolonged time period.

She produces:

“of course, phrase had gotten around that she and that I had hooked up and that I’d left their hanging, which had the peculiar effect of offering me folk-heroine condition. Kelly known as me personally a “pillow princess,” and henceforth, I was one. It had been like some sort of movie conceit the spot where the champion is mistaken for a celebrity and gets to ride in a limo and stay in an elegant lodge as a result of it.”

This it seems that completely resolved in her own benefit, as she romped about in university starting up with lots of “aggressive kinds whom got off in the proven fact that I became unwilling to permit a girl touch me personally.” Post-college, she moved on toward internet, where she promoted their relaxed status and often found up with ladies for NSA intercourse.

Around the end she problematically describes that whenever hooking up with a female she is not drawn to, she merely closes the woman vision and envisions somebody else “while [the lesbian] really does the woman thing.” Often it seems like she desires ladies to consume the woman away because they truly are presumably better at it than guys are. She


go down on it but “I’m not dating all of them, and I don’t think i’d want to have my fetish corrupted by looking after somebody sufficient to give back.”

I’dn’t want to sit down near to Ariel on an airplane, but her one-sided intimate encounters tend to be consensual and she’s only informing a true tale of the woman life, thus I’m certainly not yes what things to label of this (and I also’m interested to know what you create of it, if anything).

After that, on Jezebel (via
The Nice Guys Project
) we’ve
We hitched a Lesbian (and that I’m a man)
. The writer, Hugo Schwyzer, “tended getting crushes on a single sorts of lady: the celebrity basketball user, the soccer ahead, the swimmer. Some had been lesbians. Some just weren’t.” The guy questioned:

What exactly is it that drew me personally frequently to women who were same-sex drawn? It surely was not the stereotypical male fantasy regarding what they were doing between the sheets, and it also truly had nothing to do with a macho belief that i possibly could switch a gay lady right.

In elements, the part (which does tred on some stereotypical surface) reminded me personally of your quotation from

The Girls Next-door

which I quoted in articles about feminine manliness

“…if we’d to manufacture another generalization about lesbian taste, it might be that the majority of us are incredibly interested in women, homosexual or right, gorgeous or perhaps not, who seem as though they could look after by themselves.”

The writer fundamentally marries a lesbian exactly who introduced as straight, and he found their causing love life become unsatisfactory. She refused to provide him strike jobs and did not love penetration but joyfully approved their offerings of cunnilingus. Whenever their unique sexless marriage finished in divorce case and a drug relapse (for him), he could be relatively thoughtful to their ex-wife’s strive without labeling her as deceptive (as much regarding the commenters carry out):

She had originate from a conventional family members who would have been deeply embarrassed to own a gay kid. She may have identified, but did this lady best to hide it, probably hoping that her thoughts might transform. Or she might-have-been like lots of women I’ve identified, and only discovered the woman real intimate identification after currently being married to one.

What’s redeeming concerning this essay to me that the author’s conception of his own gender is mainly without any the conventional masculine posturing one might expect in a bit similar to this (the guy also relates to himself as “femmy”). Maybe it really appears that method because guys thus seldom write about wishing strong, athletic, powerful women with short-hair; but it’s energizing none the less.

Really don’t fault Hugo or Ariel for informing their own tales, but it’s really worth discussing that both narratives seem to ride regarding the concept that room behavior will be the ultimate/only litmus examination of sex. Hugo and Courtney enjoy both’s company, but Hugo alludes to Courtney’s disinterest in entrance as a “warning signal” he skipped, when entrance is rarely a solely heterosexual work (it seems more likely Courtney feared the closeness of penetration with a person she didn’t truly want is with, yet , that knows) and falling in love, ultimately, is mostly about the vagina but it’s additionally regarding your center and it’s really generally about having romantic feelings. Those romantic feelings are just what transforms a hook-up union into a relationship, all things considered.

At long last at


we’ve a nice tale straight from pony’s lips —
My Personal First Time: Female. 17. San Francisco Bay Area
. I believe here is the very first time the “First Time” series features included a lesbian.

Basically, in ninth quality, mcdougal confessed to the woman closest friend that she had lesbian thoughts on her behalf, and her companion reciprocated, as well as proceeded to continue a stealth lesbian union and they are nevertheless collectively now and the woman is a grown-up inside armed forces!

It seems they’ve however to take their union outside of the closet, that will be somewhat puzzling, but whatever

. [


: Looks like this story was actually created before DADT was repealed, even though it just got published, thus nothing is puzzling happening here. This is simply straight-up nice in most method, unequivocally.]

The focus of this piece (and is very adorable and sweet) is on mcdougal’s finding of
just what lesbian sex is quite

We had never ever gone down on each some other, and that I was actually sure that’s what we might meant when we mentioned we planned to have sex. (today I realize there is even more to fucking than licking a female’s snatch and contacting it just about every day.)

She concludes:

I know that the majority of folks disagree by what virginity method for a homosexual girl, but virginity is very personal, also it truly is based on who you’re inquiring. People might say entrance must be involved, but i believe it is up to the person shedding their virginity. Basically feel just like I missing my virginity, subsequently goddammit, We have!

I have invested a lot of early morning and afternoon watching word press, trying to puzzle out exactly what point i possibly could generate about these pieces. I was thinking many about why we’d never release “I found myself a Lesbian Pillow Princess” about internet site but can not see through the reason that I would worry 50 people would vow to never get back right here as well as the remaning many-thousands people would fight together about bisexual erasure/lesbian erasure before the heating loss of the universe. We pictured someone distributing “I happened to be a Lesbian Pillow Princess” to you via email and then We thought the editorial conference in which we’d will that story and all say “NO” at exactly the same time.

In seeking a spot to gleam from all of these tales, I’ve made an effort to figure out what you might consider or say, and I also cannot, and I desire to complete this article as soon as possible to increase the process of me personally finding out how you feel about these tales. Yup, for the first time since beginning Autostraddle, i have got no clue things to state about a thing. So maybe i ought to simply ask you to answer — what’s your response to these parts?

Prior to going!

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